Hiya, my name's Dave Tordoff

and I'm an addict! Don't get me wrong. I'm not a junkie or owt like that - cos drugs really screw you up. Anyway, I'm a top Ebayer, me, with a high feedback score and no negatives. Well, I had one but I managed to "persuade" them to retract it. eBay's fab - people on it speak my language, and yours too - if you speak normal, like. It's not a place for wierdos, just ordinary British people. Oh and the Yanks, they do it. Actually, quite a few countrys have Ebay now. Basically, its the best place to dump any old tat that's cluttering up your patio, or pick up cheap gents gold chains, wristwatches, parts for my JetSki (still knacked even though I picked up a throttle cable last week), designer tops for me daughter, Courtney, or jewelry for Mandy, me wife. Hey, there's another site you might like to visit, run by some copper mates of mine - Bumblebee Auctions, but it 'ain't much cop yet' (d'y'get it?).

Anyway, here's my guide to success on eBay:

1) Don't bid more than you want to pay.  A man's gotta know his limitations. (Clint Eastwood said that once in a film). And don't pay more than anything's worth. Sounds simple, dun't it, but get carried away trying to outdo the other fella (or lady - you get a few lasses on Ebay now, and some of em sound quite fit, an all!) and you'll soon regret it. On the other hand, don't spend too long deciding whether to click that button or not.

2) Don't ask the wife what she thinks - she's bound to say no, in't she! One way or the other - Make a Concrete Decision!

3) Get Good feedback. Here's mine:

(click)

See what I mean? Flawless.

4) Get a snappy 'handle'. Make it memorable. I'm BigDave69.  Why not add me to your favourite sellers? .I'm going to start me own shop soon. That way you can BUY IT NOW! That's alright if you need something in a hurry, but you dont get the rush like what you do when you're bidding for stuff. I tell you, them last few seconds are like a Brian May guitar solo - awesome!

5) When buying, check feedback, and if it looks too good to be true, it is. Look at the picture - is it from a company website, or is it propped up on a fishtank? Trust the latter.

6) Don't pay with moneygrams. You're better off giving £500 to some skater lad off the estate and telling him to get your shopping in from Nettos.

7) Dont do your shopping at Nettos. It's for losers and poor people. (I aint never gonna fit that description, incidentally!)

8) When selling, be honest, but not too honest. Know what I mean? Course you do. Here's a
listing I've got up at the moment:

(click)

Happy Bidding!

cheers, Dave.