Sheffield's premier
organ-playing radio presenter shares his wisdom on wrestling, guinea pigs, Puff
Daddy and Charlie Dimmock
What is your all-time favourite programme?
It probably has to be the classic flagship BBC production of The Brothers. I
just liked seeing the big trucks being driven in and out of the warehouse.
What is your first memory of TV or radio?
We used to have one of those pay-as-you-go TVs and I couldn't find a shilling,
so I missed the end of an exciting Mick McManus bout on Saturday wrestling.
I never discovered how Mick fared against Giant Haystacks: big lad. Do you know?
Which soap character do you relate to?
I'm not like him, but I do admire the acting of Jimmy Corkhill in Brookside,
because he obeys all the rules of how to get angry. This is one of my acting
lessons in the show. He opens his eyes wide and waggles his head from side to
side, which is correct. This is why guinea pigs look angry, because they're
very wide-eyed, and with the rapid breathing, it makes their head waggle.
What is your favourite radio programme?
I used to enjoy tuning in to local police on the FM frequency, but they don't
broadcast any more. Get ready information on the crime, then go and watch some
youths clambering over a garage or something. Lovely. Failing that there's a
lady called Veronica who does the Sunday teatime broadcast on hospital radio
and describes people's operations.
Which TV programme would you like to get rid of?
Possibly Open University in the early hours. You could fill that with stock-car
racing, Evel Knievel, that sort of thing - that's what people want to see. They
don't want to be educated at 2am.
Which would be your desert-island confectionery product?
It has to be the Bounty bar - even though there's no cardboard strip. I certainly
miss it. I wrote a song about it called Mutiny over the Bounty. Clever.
Charlie Dimmock. Discuss, please.
I'd rather not because Mary, my wife, is in earshot. Older men. It's like Cider
With Rosie, isn't it? That's the appeal.
Who are your heroes?
Chris Rea: his gravelly baritone voice, steeped in reverb. But I also like Sir
Harry Secombe, because he uses the natural reverb of the shopping arcade. Doesn't
need a microphone. Fantastic. Someone more recent? I punch the air to Puff Daddy.
Describe yourself in three words.
Versatile singer-organist. Well, that's three words and a hyphen.
What would you most like to change about yourself?
I'd like some spiky blond hair, like Howard Jones. The lad at the car-alarm
shop, he's got it as well. But Mary won't let me - she says I'd look silly.
What would be your first act as world leader?
Free milk for all, including adults. I used to love getting it as a child. I'd
be monitor for our street.
As a child, what did you hope to grow up to be?
I wanted to run a sweet shop. I've always admired the way the proprietor has
to climb on a little stool to get the big jars of sweets. It seems easy but
it's not, because there's only a one-eighth of an inch gap between each jar.
Surprise us with a fact.
Nowadays I dream of being a paramedic. Mind you, who doesn't? Or I could work
for Homebase. Either way, I'd get to wear green overalls.